Your problem started when you 1st had sex with your husband & he got up after he was done & watched TV you didn't correct his behavior, so this became his pattern and you accepted it that's why you have what you have
You assume way too much! How do you know that I just accepted it? I didn't! As a man, how do you suggest I should have....as you said--"corrected his behavior"? I did not think men wanted to be changed. I did not think they wanted their wife to act like their mommy. I let him know that I did not find it appropriate, especially for newly weds and that it hurt me. But it did not matter b/c he chose watching TV over sleeping and cuddling and talking with me. If I had thrown a fit or cried, would that have made him feel more loving toward me? I don't think so. Besides, we lived in the house with his mother and she was sitting there listening and watching every thing that was said and done. That puts a stunt of growth on any MR!
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Go back & reread what you wrote everything is "he did, and he didn't and so on" when you allow others to justify your self worth any relationship will fail
I did go back and reread what I wrote and you are very wrong. Everything I wrote was not "he did and he didn't and so on". You asked questions about him that I tried to answer.
Clearly you think you know me based on your own stitch, but you don't have a clue about me or my life.
You think b/c you went for about 7 years with little sex that you've been in my shoes? Nope, not hardly. That does not compare to having a spouse that never went to bed with you when bedtime arrived accept when he wanted sex and then got back up. It doesn't compare to him moving completely out of the bedroom over 20 years ago. Seven years with a few times of sex does not compare with going on now--13 years of zero sex. And I don't dare mention my H b/c you will tell me I am blaming him or making excuses.
I can see from your last post that no matter what I try to explain, you are going to find fault with me (the AWAW) and yet I am the one that is still in my marriage. I don't intend to make this a debate or a battle, so you go your way and think what you will about me, my life, my M, and how wrong I am and how wise you are even though you are young enough to be my son.
I got into a thing with another poster not long after I came on board. You sound very much like him only he was older. He was divorce, but seemed to have all the right answers!........(strange).... He thought he was really going to straighten me out! Well, you may not be thinking along those lines (I doubt seriously that you are, you just think you have all the answers about me and my life), but I will not go down that road again. The reason being that you will not see my point or reasoning no matter how hard I try to make clear.......and I will not accept what you are saying b/c you are trying to make "one size fits all"......and that is not the case.
So, I think with that in mind, we need to part and express out opinions to others on the board b/c we could go around and around this pole all day and not get anywhere. It happens.
Take care, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
