Over the Shock - Detaching and GALing 3

[Thinker]

I have been trying to work out my W's Love Language(s) - trying various things to see which get's a reaction. Also trying to remember what used to work and what sort of things she used to do for me to get an idea. So far no real luck. I think that currently things are / have been emotionally confused so that her real LL's have been obscured. ie, it may be gifts, but she does not react positively to gifts FROM ME right now.

I took a chance while we were eating lunch and asked her if she would take the LL test. She responded as I would have predicted: rolling her eyes, looking generally disgusted, and asking if this was "something I got out of a book". She then agreed to take it.

Well, she got the email, but this evening told me that she didn't take it (and most likely never will) because she just didn't feel like it.

I kind of expected that. It was pursuing and pressure.

She really does respond very negatively to absolutely any kind of structured approach to R's. Similar to the way she once told me "I don't want to tell you what is wrong in our R because then you are just going to try to fix it", I think she feels that if she tells me what she needs or wants in the way of love, then I am going to do that, and that would be a way of manipulating her.

oops! Time to back off and give her space again...