Need some answers from posters in this forum......

[alexjadams]

sandi

i was in your shoes my wife after our 2nd child never wanted to be with me sexually from 2000 to 2007. she basically cut me off maybe 10 times in 7 years I talked to her I tried express my feelings & my needs a thousand different ways, she didn't hear me

After a while I gave up

Then she went elsewhere, you know where I went wrong? I GAVE UP! I relied on her to make the 1st move hoping & praying she would

Know what I should have done expressed how I expected to be treated be positive that she had a complete understanding, then try 300 ways of Sunday to make it work after about a year I should have got a D

Your problem started when you 1st had sex with your husband & he got up after he was done & watched TV you didn't correct his behavior, so this became his pattern and you accepted it that's why you have what you have

Also to him that's what he thinks is normal, you don't it was partly your fault (like it was mine) to expect this behavior to change, people marry each other with a pre planed rehabilitation program, that's not going to work people are who they are you need to understand yourself and really accept who that person truly is

I bet you were thinking oh he's gonna change and 40 years later...

Generally men don't talk, they are terrified of their emotions, when we get emotional we get physical that's why we spike the ball in football & why we do fist pumps

It's not right but when we get mad or crushed by women we hit, this is the sign of an emotionally immature man

Yes we all want emotional intimacy but some people don't even know what that means, it took me getting cheated on and then me forcing myself to take a long hard look at myself to really understand how I contributed to the demise of my marriage Most of us men think intimacy is sex!


WAW and LBS are easy to categorize because they all have the same thing in common they haven't took the time needed to work on themselves & the marry thinking oh it will get better or change

Go back & reread what you wrote everything is "he did, and he didn't and so on" when you allow others to justify your self worth any relationship will fail

You know what I bet you there is an obese person some where saying if McDonalds didn't make their fries taste so good I wouldn't be over weight! And that not the truth they had a choice, they didn't have to go to McD's 3 times a day for 5 day a week for 2 years straight they had a choice! We choose to stay in our marriages thinking that our spouses were going to change, we chose to marry our spouses, I bet your husband's parents didn't have a good relationship either your husband was imitating what he learned from his parents, like me & you did & I bet you it wasn't a good positive relationship. My father beat my mother I never hit my wife why because it is a choice, I made a choice not to, but I did choose a woman just like my mother because I was unable to save my mother from the abuse she got from my father, you know what I wasn't mature enough to handle the responsibility of saving another life that requires a world full of patience and understanding, that I didn't have (and maybe I still don't)

You keep stating what you thought a marriage was, maybe that isn't what he thought a marriage was, you should have found a man that was more in common with your ideas of marriage

Insanity
Albert Einstein once said "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".

What you said about a woman and a flower is true, but did you know a man is like your favorite piece of jewelry

We need to be polished, appreciated, and held in high regard, we know that there is going to be a piece more prettier, more shiny, more everything, but you know what we are the piece that has memories, weddings, funerals, receptions & we were their thought it all, until one day you buy a new piece of jewelry, and just cast us aside, but this new thing won't have the same history, but hey they don't quite wear the same way we do
we know how that little bump on your wrist is there so we stop and don't slide all the way down to you hand, or we cover up that scar on you neck that you hate but you had since you were a little girl, or we just sit perfect on your ear and the new ones don't quite hang right, that's when you say to your self "oh, the more I wear it, eventually it will fit/sit right" hey there goes that rehabilitation program thing again this time it's your new piece of jewelry