"She was very talkative after that and called me a couple of times afterwards (basically nonsense stuff). One of the times I told her I was in the middle of something so I couldn't talk."
Before she starts getting talkative, just say, I was just about to go out with some friends so I just wanted to say goodnight to the boys before they went to bed. Then end it.
Right now you are a crutch for her and you will continue to be until she finds someone else. Then she will move all her attention to her new man and you will be left out in the cold wondering, WTH happened? Think about it as preventive medicine.
You have to start this before it happens. Is that what you want to be used as? A crutch until another man comes along? Keep things cordial initially, then become friends again.
"I had lunch with one of my friends today. She told me I need to be careful not to give her so much space that she decides that I've given up/moved on so there is nothing to consider anymore. "
This is true, however you've only been at it for a week. She hasn't even been weaned off of you. All you're doing is giving her the space she wanted. She's still using you to make herself feel comfortable until she finds someone else that will do it for her. Do you want to be used like that?
I most definitely do NOT want to be the crutch. It is a very hard line for me to toe - between being a cold jerk to cordial/mysterious. I'm still trying to find my groove.
Tonite, she had sent me a text picture of the boys (she gave them a buzz cut) at 8:00 PM, then she tried to call at 8:10, then 8:15. I didn't answer. She left a message at 8:15. I called her back at 8:25 as her message said she was trying to put the boys to bed early tonite since my youngest has baseball tomorrow.
The boys picked up and my youngest asked why I didn't answer. I told him that I was taking a shower and just got out. The three of chatted for a while before we said goodnite. They sounded excited for tomorrow - most likely for baseball, but they are also coming home tomorrow.
She didn't get on the phone at all nor did she reply to my text about not being available for lunch today or tomorrow, but could do Thurs to talk about the B'day party.
She did send me an email torwards the end of the day about tactical stuff though.
My therapist, and my friend, seemed puzzled that I wasn't acting like I missed her. I'm puzzled by it too. It could be that it's been so difficult dealing with her the last several weeks, that I'm relieved right now not to have to deal with the nonsense. Not sure. I really have to dig deep to understand what's going on in my head/heart.
Guess that's just part of working on me.
I went to the gym today and then drove around for about an hour in my 88 IROC convertible since it's the last day that's suppose to be nice today. I've been trying to call one of my friends that I haven't talked to in a few days (he emailed to see how I was doing), but his line was busy. I've also cleaned/picked up the house to get it ready for the boys coming home tomorrow. I looked in the fridge and just realized I need to pick up groceries for dinner on Thurs, Fri and Sat. Guess I'll have leave work early to do that tomorrow afternoon before baseball.
I'm working on keeping busy, and reconnecting with some of my friends. I have a busy week at work next week and will go out to dinner with work folks Mon & Tues (can't do it Weds due to Baseball and I have the kids on Thurs & Fri).
Guess this is all part of getting a life, now I just need to be able to it outside of work....
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
