Ok, better cheer up. YAY!!! Moving this weekend. Awesome!!! Gonna have my own place!!! YAY!!! Girls are going to love it!!! They are looking forward to decorating their room together!! WOOHOO!!! I'm going to be living the bachelor life. YAY!!!!! I have a job at the moment!!! Awesome!!! I will have something to eat!!!
Kevin, I'm fairly sure this was sarcastic, but it would've been perfect.
It is so telling that when you can't talk about W, the best post you can come up with is "hi". There is a huge sucking void in your life, and it is a giant black hole called W.
I will tell you that being apart from her while you were in Florida definitely improved you - being back I have seen you slide back down the hole.
You moving out is the best thing you can do. I have completely stopped contacting my W - maybe 3-4 times in a month, and about the kids, letting dog out because I got stuck at work. I even tried to call neighbors to let the dog out before I called her. NOT seeing her every day has made things so much better. I structure my days so that I don't have to see her.
I've told you this before: detaching is agonizing at first, but it gets better every day. I'm starting to notice things again, focus on my kids, get invested in my work, feel good about working out, and so on.
I respect your "one marriage" belief, and I support it. I'm 31, and I have no plans to ever date again, let alone get married, and it's not fun to envision a single life. But God is enough.
Personally, I'd like to see a little more than lip service to this "God" thing. Here is what I did, and it's the best thing that ever happened to me.
I turned everything over to God, completely. I told Him that I screw things up, so it's his mess to handle, and I believe that he can do a much better job than I. At first, it was lip service for me, then I started not allowing myself to have those "theoretical conversations" in my head. When I started them, I caught myself, and turned it into prayer - prayer for wisdom, discernment, peace, and blessing. Anytime I thought about W and I, I stopped myself, and turned THAT into prayer for a friend or family member - someone in need.
I realize you're just now trying to get through 24 hours without mentioning W, so maybe we'll just make this a goal?
