Thanks for sharing all of that, Limbo. I think the experience shook him up pretty good, but as to it being "enough"......that is a wait and see thing. Right now, I think he may believe that he is going to get back on the straight and narrow, but after the "shake-up" wears off, I'm afraid he may start to slip.
As far as how you handled it........I think you deserve a gold crown! And, you see how doing completely opposite from what your normal reaction would have been worked for him. So, if I were you, I would start at this point and act as if everything is going to be fine. You put all your self improvements into over drive and act as if you are as happy as can be. Don't ask him what his plans are about staying or going. If he goes, then I would not say anything, but I may not act as if I'm quite as happy. My thinking is that he needs to see that you are disappointed, but not saying anything. Then he will know that he led you to think things would be different between the two of you and he is already going back to his old ways with OW. So, you know how a woman can show a little disappointment and still be sweet, don't you? You don't have to act like a b*tch in getting the message across to him that he's being a jerk and letting you down. He can tell by the hurt in your eyes. Being sweet (I'm not talking doormat stuff here) and yet not saying anything about him leaving will probably lay a huge guilt trip on him.....which it should!
Anyway, I would make coming home and being there with you the best time of his life. If he choses to keep those tickets and leave with the OW and her aunt, then we can think about what to do after that. Just don't blow your stack, talk about R, etc. If he goes with OW, it will give you time to think about how you want to handle it.
We will pray that he has had his eyes opened for good, but I just don't want you to get your hopes up too high. This was a shake-up, but not the kind that was heavy enough to really put an end to what is happening to him.
You take good care of yourself. That is so important.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
