im sure glad a couple of you WCW, Creed had the futzpa to say what i wanted to...cos I would have been slammed hard by TOH, "the most pessimistic person she has ever known" I appealed to her moral dignity to do the right thing as God would have it....but I didnt get very far.
TOH im sorry I have too agree with WCW and Creed. One thing we have learned following your journey is you will do it your way and find a reason to justify it. You will find some way to put a spin on your actions.
we are glad you are safe but saddened by your choices.
Last edited by a new 2moro; 04/28/0901:27 AM.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
Did I miss something? I don't remember reading anywhere on TOH's thread that her R with B had become sexual. I realize an EA is still an A of sorts, but let's not jump to conclusions. It may not be as 'bad' as it sounds.
That said, I agree its too soon to jump into another R. Try to keep things light with B for a while, TOH. If he truly cares for you, he will be patient.
I know you are done but you will still feel it when the D finally becomes a reality
Thanks naej, yes and I do feel the sadness. I have no regrets, I am sure this is what I want, but...it still hurts. It shouldn't have ended this way. Things could have been so different.
I think the hardest part for me now is watching H go through now what I went through the last couple of years. Even after all that has happened. I wish I could take away his pain. Even though he is the one that led us here.
Like I said, it hurts, but I will not live on "what might have beens".
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
Nice example for the kids. Jump from man to man and beb to bed, marriage is just a paper you can ignore when you so choose.
What is wrong with the examples I have made for my girls. I've shown them to stand strong for those you love and for what you believe. I have shown them to not do what others tell you to do but to follow your heart. I've shown them that M is a sacred vow and that you should do everything to honor those vows. I've shown them to always be honest. That we all deserve to be happy and that life is too short to just settle for what falls your way. I've shown them that M takes work and to never just walk away. I've shown them to do what is right no matter the costs.
AND I have not and will not get into bed with another man until my D is final. M is not just a piece of paper. This I have proven. It is a vow that is supposed to be forever. But you have no control over other people. And there sometimes are circumstances that are out of our control. How can you say I've ignored my M? Today...I HAVE FILED FOR DIVORCE!!!! I wish I could make you understand. For me, for who I am, for what I believe, once the desicion to file was made, once that paper was filed, once the process was started, the M was over. There was no going back. I am D in my heart. The rest is just legal crap that has to be done.
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you'll justify your affair in whatever way you need so you can be okay with your actions.
What actions WCW? I have not lied. I have not had sex with anyone. I have not left my H for another man. I have not led a secret life. I have not hurt anyone in any way.
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
You decided to file only after you got yourself involved with another man. You decided to file only after you found someone that treated you better than you felt you were treated by your H
Damb everyone for assuming this, for making me feel guilty for something that did not happen!! Including H! My decision to D had absolutely NOTHING to do with what has happened with B and I. Period! Bad Bad timing, that's all that happened. I decided to D before there was EVER ANYTHING between us. I filed for D before B even looked my way or I his. GF, K, B, and I went out 2 times before I filed. As FRIENDS absoultely nothing more. GF and I sat in the back seat. We paid for our own meals. There was no "personal" attention. There was no physical, or emotional contact. FRIENDS that is all.
I filed, then what happened between B and I just happened. He did not pursue me, I did not pursue him. Yes there was an attraction but I had no intentions. Our next date we just "fell" for each other. We still talk about it shaking our heads, we don't know how or why or what happened. As far as waiting...wait for what? To have sex? We are. To care for one another? How do you stop that? To make promises? None made. To plan for the future? We are. Will he wait? Definately. We've talked about this alot. He will wait. I choose not to. I don't know why I should.
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
OH I have not followeed your story fully and this is only my opinion and I certainly dont have the answers but I know you have tried and our timelines are about the same I think there does come a breaking point and I do understand You have to chose what is best If you know your M is over then filing was the right thing
I too am sort of involved with a new guy, only I am trying to put the brakes on it- as Im not really ready I am divorced now
just go slow relationships are hard and there is much unfinished work inside and outside for all of us to clear the mess our WAS created good luck peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
