What I am going to do differently this time? Good question. And something I am truly struggling with because I don't want to keep going down this road over and over. I know that many people carry on this type of lifestyle for years and years, and its definitely not what I want for myself. It's just too demoralizing. I totally agree that words, promises, and verbal ultimatums aren't enough. Although, I think a verbal ultimatum will be a start for me - meaning that I truly set my standards and stick to it that its either one of us period. I think that although I haven't been at all happy with the situation, I have gone along with it all the while still working hard to maintain the M (probably doing all the work). So I don't want to sell myself short anymore. Truth of the matter, I think that this will be something I struggle with if H and I get back together - how to not worry that he will ping pong again. What should I be requiring? What else is there other than the verbal ultimatum? Other than requiring very limited open contact with him and OW? Throughout the whole ping pong, H has maintained close contact with OW so I know this would be one change.
Sometimes I feel so lost and hopeless with all this.
