Am I stupid or do we have a chance?

[optimist]

... it concerns me that there seems to be a note of resentment in your post: Why am I the one doing everything? My fear is that this can build and creep into your actions or even your mental health.

I was not feeling particularly resentful when I wrote it, but I think you have a very valid point. There is quite a lot of anger boiling inside me, and it looks as if some of the vapors are seeping through. I am very, very angry at my H. I am angry at what he did, and at what he has not done. I resent the fact that he still has the OW working for him and it makes me furious that she is the one that controls the finances in his office and the office pays for the car she drives. To me it does not feel as if he is really trying when he has not started by stopping all contact with that woman.

What worries me is that if you can detect resentment in what I thought was a relatively cheerful and calm post, it must be seeping much more than I thought it was. And that is indeed a recipe for disaster. I have to do something about it!

The BB has helped me a lot, not only to vent what I feel before it spills over to him, but by allowing me to learn by where others are in this process. Obviously I have a ways to go

But, what can you do, or have you done, that makes you feel good about all this? Is watching tv driving you nuts? Do you feel like you are doing too many of his activites and not enough of yours? Are you happy doing his activites--expanding your horizons, so to speak? Embrassing the differences and learning new things?

Well I do like the things we do together, and enjoy all the new things we are learning. What kills me is when he is not there and I start to think...

He is working on this too, just in a different manner than you.

Thank you for pointing that out, Jackie. I do need a lot of reminding on that particular point. You are right, he is trying on his way. It does not have to be my way...