So I have been thinking and reflecting today and a revelation came to me... I realized that given my H's history of the back and forths with OW, my H has always chosen to want to be with me. In 2005, when he told me about his son, like a little chicken he left for about 5 weeks and then came back hoem. Then a few months later in 2006, when he continued seeing OW, I moved out to a different town and about 3-4 weeks later H followed me and was there. So I think there is a good chance that H will come back home. BUT, and a big but, what is consistent in all those times is that H wanted to come back and have me as his wife but still carry on with OW on the side. Also, I realized that I have never really made H chose that if he wants to be with me there is no way whatsoever he's also with OW. I think I have allowed my sitch to continue because I have not made it a requirement that H chose. I know it sounds crazy but my revelation today was that not that I need to worry about whether H will be back, its very likely that he will, but I need to concentrate on how he will be back. I need to really set some boundaries and standards here. H will want to come back to play to same old game. I need to say this time NO, it's either me or her. End of story.
Then another realization, which will make my sitch even harder to reconcile. H says that he will need to contact OW to check on his son, which is true. But I strongly beleive H and OW cannot be friends for our marriage to work. Marriage is hard enough as it is and H, nor I, should be friends with anyone who is against our M and will be feeding him bad thoughts about me. So really one of my demands is no friendship with OW. But how to have this with H having a child with OW? Very sticky situation.
