I had an idea and do not know whether it is a good one. On everybody's advice I have been a very, very good girl this week and we had had a rather good week. We went kayaking yesterday, and then to dinner and I only slipped a little when I asked him what he thought of our first 3 weeks together again. He said "OK" and I left it at that. This morning he was saying he'd come home early and we could go out to dinner and dancing. So far, good
I have been thinking about the OW. I do not think realistically that our marriage can heal while she is there because I feel permanently threatened. Before I knew she existed we had had good spells but they always went down the drains eventually (and now I know why). But I have been guilty of always telling him what I want and need and how he has to do things to achieve that.
My idea is to tell him that I need to talk with him and can he please pick a time and place. When and if he does (if he says no, I shut up and wait further, I guess), I will tell him that I cannot heal while she is there, that I understand it is difficult for him to get rid of her, and ask him lovingly how does he think we can get out of this mess.
What do you guys think?
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
