I made a decision a while ago that if I ever discovered anything concrete showing a return to infidelity, I would throw it out into the open and let all parties deal with it. Lest see if its still fun if its not a secret. I also decided I would show more emotion and not bottle things up as I have done in the past. I've done that bit, so yes maybe a 180 for me.
What I discovered on the emails was basically saucy chat that goes beyond what I find acceptable, well I couldn't see the chat but the titles lead me to think that way , "sex", "you sexy thing". Other titles were about "work, dad, me, you. hi, txt good night and shopping". Most emails were requisitions for W to go on line to chat. However a couple were about how OM misses W and he thinks about her all the time.
My gut feel is that this is an EA where W is letting him massage her ego, but I think he is looking to get more out of it.
On another front I was also talking to my niece who used to work for the CSA (child support agency), she gave some advice on how to proceed if things were to head towards the end game. If I do move out, I must do so physically and financially, and she let me know all the CSA guidelines. Last time I moved out in 2007 I did so but still paid all the bills. But she said I was to only consider moving out as one of my options. Bottom line was to just batten down the hatches for now and see what happens.
Mentally I don't feel as fragile as I have done in the past, but physically I do feel some signs of stress, so yes I need to look after me. I'm not sure if I can cope with gym session and running at this time but this will most likely leave me short of training for my 10k run. I will see how I feel at the end of the week.
