I might be missing something, but are you going for full custody? If so, shouldn't you be having your daughter 50/50 AT LEAST right now. How can she not LET you have her? SHe is your daughter as much as your wife's. I don't even get the every weekend thing. If you set precedence of your daughter being with her most of the time, that is what will be.....right?
I don't get the "she won't let me". You go and get her, and let her know you will call the police if she won't let you have your daughter. I would freak out if my H would not let me have my child. This is HER idea to leave you, so why are YOU the one not getting to have your child. It's like you are "visiting" your own daughter.
