My wife told me, after serving the divorce papers, that her best friend had a guy to set her up with. Her best friend subsequently called me and told me that she was "rooting for us." When my wife told me she was seeing a guy that her friend had set her up with, I called her friend all sorts of names to my wife. Well evidently my wife told the friend. The friend calls me yesterday and basically says "I did not set her up. (W) is acting selfing and irresponsible and I'm not going to be blamed." This was the tipping point for me to realize that this affair pre-dated my wife's request for a divorce. Everyone from my lawyer to my family has greeted this with a hearty "Duh!!!!" I just never considered the possiblity my wife could be unfaithful to me. I never considered the possibility that either of us could be unfaithful.
I now realize that so much of what has been going on is my wife trying to lie to me to keep me from knowing this started before the filing to keep me from requesting joint custody. She has lied to me. She has thrown her best friend under the bus. And she told me smuggly that the the other guy "reminds (her) of an older (me). One that has learned some life lessons."
I think she is on the verge of learning some life lessons. Since she was 23 I have taken care of her. She hasn't had to work for the past 5 years. I have always provided for her and the family. And I have taken responsibility for her every inscurity and neurosis. And she re-paid me by cheating on me, lying to me, and wreaking destruction on my family. And all I did for 2 months was worry about myself and how I had caused this.
