Ex and I went before the Masters since we could not settle ahead of time. Both your lawyers will go in and present their proposed settlements and financial affidavits to the two Masters. The Masters will review the papers and come up with what they feel is a fair distribution. If both parties do not agree with the Masters' findings, the lawyers can propose a few add ons to 'sweeten' the deal. Ex rejected my lawyer's suggestions and threatened to go to trial. I accepted the Master's proposal to avert bankrupting my family.
My lawyer told me the most I could expect in alimony and unallocated child support was 42% of his gross salary and a 50/50 split of marital assets. My ex has a high paying job and I'd been a stay-at-home mom for 20 years. I was given 40% of unallocated child support and alimony until my 14 year old is 21, then there will be a 'second look'. Our two sons who are in college became responsible for their own education because ex refused to fund any part of it. Because of the length of our marriage (over 20 years) I'm eligible for lifetime alimony, as long as the judge agrees.
In the end he got his pension and I got the house, with a 50/50 split of marital assets. Because of how costly his legal fees were (which I had to pay half of) all our bonds and securities had to be sold to pay the his debt, along with a loan for $50K. Their reasoning was that a judge wouldn't rule to make him solely pay for the more expensive counsel because everyone has a right to choose their own legal advice. It sounds like hooey to me now. Try and find out what your projected costs are, along with hers. It might be worth doing that.. though with Smarmy's help she's probably getting discounted rates.
Going to trial is a crap shoot. Ask your lawyer for what the percentages are for a situation like this. Getting 50% of a spouse's income is unheard of when the other is a nonworking parent, much less a partner with a job. Most women are told that if they can work part-time, they can work full-time.
Your spouse sent you the SAT bill on the advice of her lawyer. Do not pay it. Show it to your lawyer. Your spouse is trying to show precedent that you willingly pay all these expenses, that doing so is NORMAL. Ask your lawyer to advise you on what is appropriate in this situation. Ex stopped paying for anything for the kids.. period.. saying he didn't want to set a financial precedent (which in turn would be seen as an on-going obligation).
After the divorce you can choose to give your kids whatever you want.. but it will be dictated by you, not the court. Oh yes.. and ask your lawyer what the perception would be if you asked for alimony from your spouse. Ex did not ask for that, but he could have from me in case the tables ever turned.
