Keep backpedaling with DR

[2inlimbo]

Hi Fallgirl, it's a Christian based attempt to save marriage based on the movie "Fireproff". It's actually a book. Each day for 40 days you're assigned a task. Give your husband one compliment today, do something unexpected for him, congratualate him on a recent acheievement. I think you can do the LD as long as it doesn't include the needy, pursuing behavior we are taught to avoid in DR. Also, I follow the advice of DR and I do not say I love you (cuz H has said he loves me "only as the mother of his kids".)

But I think my showing confidence and GAL but at the same time doing kind gestures and offering him praise can work. This is just my theory though, and who am I? Just a chick muddling through the BS of separation like so many of us.

I think it shows a lot of confidence and self-esteem to be nice to those who treat us poorly. Taking the high road so to speak.

Hope that helps. Hubby and I had a good conversation last night, him telling me his needs and admitting some of his recent mistakes.

""""I think PA types need us to be miserable. They need us to feel as miserable as themselves. I just have a theory that maybe, maybe we drive them to breaking point when they realise they cannot control our emotions, our lives. And maybe they need to hit that breaking point to come into a more honest relationship with us.""""

Regarding your above quote, you are right. When we show them we cannot make them miserable, it upsets them. But we must break the cycle. Be strong, Fallgirl!