Ok then, I ask again do I continue to do everything she asks/tells me to do?
Do I support her moving out into an apartment and take the kids with her?
What do I do in the meantime and after she leaves?
I have been doing nothing but giving her space for three years and it hasn't been working. We live in a loveless, sexless, tension filled household, with not even hugs, kisses, nor conversation. She said she is miserable, unhappy, and that I am her kriptonite bringing her down. I figured at this point what do I have to lose. I decided enough is enough and I am trying again for conversation, hugs, kisses, and sex. I guess maybe like you said I have lost her forever. All I have is the shell of the person I once fell madly in love with living under the same roof.
She says she needs to miss me, "if you love someone set them free, and if they truly love you they will come back," or something like that. I am just so afraid that if she walks out that door with our without the kids it will be the end...the end of my family, the end of my career, the end of life as I have known it for over 10 years.
The DBing Coach said to stand-up tall; demand respect; stop apologizing for being me (for being a man); find a father advocate lawyer; don't stop trying for conversation, hugs, kisses, and sex, if she turns me down then "act as if" and go out on the town; try to take her to a marriage enrichment program and or MFT for the benefit of the children; be less predictable; stop being the nice guy; and finally that it can't stay like this. The kids are not safe alone with her or even with her around. I believe I failed to mention earlier that she told me that taking care of the kids is not fun to her. She said that she is not and never will be a typical mother. She said she doesn't like to cook, clean, bathe, play, read, etc with the kids like other mothers. It is not fun to her. She is depressed and on ambian and zoloft. I am not sure why she even wants to take them with her. I know she loves them though.
I believe I deserve to be treated better than this. I agree that I've made mistakes in the past. I have not been the perfect husband. I have not always been as sensitive, caring, compassionate, cherishing, etc. as she wanted or expected me to be and I am actually sorry for that, because I truly am a romantic and would do anything for her. I work and pray hard everyday to be a better man, a better person, a better husband, and better father. I wrote her letters, I sang her songs, I gave her gifts, we traveled the world. I never abused her in anyway. I have done nothing wrong. She is a miserable unhappy person and it is not my fault. She doesn't deserve to be with the kids. I am concerned for their well-being. I need her to be the kind of woman she was before when we first met, when we dated, and early in our marriage. She would be a fool to leave me, the man that has put-up with her all these years, the loving cherishing husband and father of our children.
