Still getting nowhere fast....

[lost-n-Iowa]

hello everyone...

I filed all the papers today and was granted a temporary protective order from my H. This order included my sister and my girls. I feel better having it but like you said Bridgestone, a piece of paper is really not much of protection. I understand that the paper doesn't help like bullet proofing your house but it's is a start.

Unfortuantly the papers have not been served to my H yet so I am still waiting for that to happen. I kept watching out the window tonight for the sheriff's car to pull up but it never did. I now am still waiting for it to happen. Hopefully it will tomorrow.

I have a saftey plan in the works and have several places to go that he would not be able to find me. I have extra clothes for me and the girls and extra money too. One good thing is that after the divorce that was suppose to happen last year, my H and I never put each other's names back on each other's accounts at the bank. I can't get into his and he can't get into mine. I just want the papers served so that I can get to the next part of this crazy chapter in my life.

I was at my lawyer's office today when my sister texted me to forward a message on from my H to her. He wanted to know what she was doing. She said school. He asked if they could talk when she was out. She said k but never texted him back when she got out. At 9:30 tonight while I am sitting downstairs watching TV and he is upstairs watching TV, my sister texted me to tell me that he had texted her and she wanted to know where I was and if I was okay. I told her where I was and asked her what was going on and she said that my H had asked her if she was busy. She never answered him. He then came downstairs to see what I was doing so I was unable to texted back to my sister at the time. He sat down to watch TV too and asked when I was going to come to bed so that he could cuddle with me. I said I wasn't tired yet. He got upset and walked back upstairs.

I just keep thinking what a sick man he is. Here he is texting her still and when she doesn't answer him then he goes for the next piece of ass that he thinks he is going to get. I looked up what the definition of a sex addict was and my H has 8 out of the 11 symptoms that they had listed. I could not answer some of it for him and could only hope that he would answer no to picking up prositutes or paying for sexual favors on many occasions. I shudder to think what he has done and what he may have given me by way of an STD. I have appointment to get checked.

I do not blame myself for this. I know that what he is doing is not my fault and that I could not have done anything that would have made things any better. I truely believe that even if I had stooped to the level of sexual things that my H wanted me to do with him just so that I could keep him happy and my marriage good for him...it would not have ever been enough. He would have always wanted more. I have done my part for making this marriage work and now I am working even harder to make this marriage come to a screeching halt.

you are right, that even if I was to let him know what I know, that it would not really change anything. He is not going to suddenly say, 'Oh, I understand how a marriage is suppose to work now...so that is what those vows I took in the church REALLY meant?" I don't expect that. I just want him to know that I know what HE truely IS. I guess I will just have to play it by ear if I am going to say anything to him at all. Like you said, I may not get the chance if they serve him while I am not here and he has to be gone before I return.

I will keep you posted as things progress. This is a great place for me to come to and get multiple people outlooks on my situation that is not 'emotional' attached to it. I apprecieate everyone who has posted and will keep posting. Thanks to you I feel like I have lots of shoulders to lean on in this hard time.