I don't think we always 'see' the 'what goes around comes around' when it does eventually happen. I don't think we're suppose to.
It's not like it's a 'prize' for our suffering.
There are consequences for every action we make or do not make. That is a fact.
Whether we LBS ever see, ever hear, or ever find out when the circle becomes complete is not a given. But there is no doubt a consequence the other person will encounter for their choices in life.
They will live their lives believing that they are thought of in one way, when in truth, the people they know..and know of their past/actions...will never, ever again be thought of the same. Doesn't mean people will tell them to their face, but their reputations will never be what they were...or what they thought they were.
It doesn't matter how many OW/OM they go through or marry...what material things they are able to obtain, what they do for a living or what positions they might hold....they will always be less than what they once were.
And it will remain this way until/unless they humble themselves enough to take responsibility for their actions/choices and try to fix whatever issues they have the RIGHT way.
I believe this is why so many WAS/MLCer never seem to return to the people we once believed them to be. They cannot, or will not admit their own weaknesses/issues...they cannot humble themselves..and they've learned all too well how to blame others for their failures, and don't know how to take on the blame that they should for their own mistakes/weaknesses.
I truly believe that is why LBS come out of this much stronger and much more confident of themselves. I can't remember ever reading on here about a LBS that didn't have their own awakening....realizing their own contribution to the downfall of their marriage. We (LBS) do a great amount of reflection. We start to realize, in retrospect, all the things we could have done, should have done...but didn't. We start to realize all the things we took for granted, and shouldn't have. We start to realize all the words/actions that we unintentionally may have hurt our spouses with. We also, after some time, start to realize that our spouses could have, should have communicated better with us, before things got so out of hand. That no marriage is 'unfixable'..and it's much easier to fix a marriage than it is to 'replace' a marriage.
We did not fail our marriages/family/home. We fought for these things. Our S, in the end, did not. And there will always be a consequence for that.
How we end up living after we are divorced/separated is an earthly issue, and can/will change throughout our lifetime...married or not. On the other hand, no matter how well off our exes/WAS live...they will never be able to run away from the consequences of their choices.
We don't need to see the results, we only need to know that there are consequences for every action/choice. Even if you never hear someone talking negatively about your ex, I can guarantee you that he is thought of much differently now than he was when he was with you 100% in the marriage. The OW and the materialistic things he may have will never, ever be able to replace the reputation he once enjoyed.
Women are angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible
