Last night my W and MIL came over to the house to visit with the kids for a while and we had a really nice time. We all just sat around the dining room table and talked while kids sat around us coloring in their coloring books and showing us their masterpieces. It felt genuinely warm and comfy and almost normal, to me anyway. My W was smiling and kind and friendly, and seemed very at home in the house. They were only going to come for a quick visit to say goodnight to the kids, but ended up staying for well over and hour. I was sad when they got up to leave, not that I showed it. My W thanked me for letting her come over to see the kids, and then spontaneously gave me a big hug and held on a little tighter and a little longer than a normal friendly hug. I just hugged her back and let her dictate how long it lasted.
I wish I knew what was going on. I wish I knew what the status of the OM is. I assume if my W is serious about moving us forward at all, she'll eventually bring it up. If she makes a really bullish move toward me, like asking me out for a date, should I bring it up? I really don't want to be with her if she's still involved with him in any way. Given that the OM is so far away, I will not tolerate being her surrogate boyfriend, which is essentially the role she had me in last fall before I knew the truth.
Even if she her affair is completely over, I'm still not totally sure how I'd want to proceed, but I know that's the number one requirement for even cracking open the door.
