Learning to Detach

[kjensen]

OK,
I haven't heard from H since the text Friday night. The girls never heard from him this weekend, although D11 got a text tis morning asking how she and her sister were and saying he was busy. She never responded.

H had a meeting in Denver this morning then said he'd be in the (home)office. The girls are out of school today and tomorrow, which he knew, and had wanted to spend time with them on their days off. So this is weird, but maybe not to everyone else. Just weird for my H to be saying he'll do something then not do it. Very odd for him to disregard his business(he has several phone calls and faxes he's missed). Maybe its a phase of MLC-just not sure which...maybe he just doesn't want to be around me at all? Maybe he's just having a grand time with OW..Confused and a bit worried.
I did leave H a quick upbeat voicemail around 3pm, just saying I hoped he had a good weekend and the girls hadn't heard from him (I didn't know about D11s text message)and Just wanted to see how he was. Very brief and cheery(not how I felt at all).

I'm worried when I finally do hear from him, I won't be able to hide my confusion and anger(at his irresponsibility to his children). I'm trying to get my brain in the right place-any advice? Obviously I'm not being/feeling very detached riht now. This weekend I did pretty well overall. I keep wafflng between detachment and anger, not feeling the love right now.
Torn between anger, worry and worse case scenarios in my head(he and OW are off travelling as this was the weekend he wanted to go to Moab with her).