I think I pulled myself back in, not him. I was actually doing pretty good and will return to that. Sometimes I wonder if its good to turn the lights on for a bit then go dark again. But I really am looking for actions b/c H has done a lot of talking and this back and forth has been going on way to long. And I KNOW it has gone on so long because I haven't put my foot down and made demands. So I trying to sst standards too.
H said today that we should be able to talk but I did tell H though that I don't really want to be his friend. It's either all or nothing. So I'm back to doing me. I think he would just love for us to start back being good friends so he could still have contact with me. But no. I won't do it, I promise. It would hurt too much to be his friend.
