You keep saying you'd "do anything to get your wife back" but that is NOT TRUE..b/c in the next sentence you say you are giving up!! And you admit your emotional development was arrested in your 20s due to drinking too much. That is common with alcoholics and addicts b/c it DOES PREVENT spiritual and emotional growth. People who become addicted early in life are like teenagers b/c they stopped their growth at that point. SO grow up now! Like I said, this is not complicated...it's just hard.
But for someone who says he'd "Do anything for her" to then just "quit" is a paradox. You just said a totally contradictory thing!! & YOU DO have a negative outlook. Maybe your pessimistic outlook was why you self medicated with alcohol..who knows? Who cares? Fix it now.
As for your wife not believing in DBing..why does she even know the term? Please tell me you did not tell her you were doing that? Oh. great. No wonder she does not believe the changes are real. You DID ONLY DO THEM TO GET HER BACK and that is why you are "quitting DBing"... that's like saying "I am quitting the personal growth I was starting, b/c my wife did not come back to me..." thereby proving you missed the whole premise of the approach. IT was not about manipulating and pretending to SEE IF SHE'D CHANGE.... Gee Kev, being a better man does not seem "worth it" to you? Why? b/c how you lived before was so great? You were drunk or hungover or asleep and sleepwalking through your life and NOW YOU ARE AWAKE...do you really want it back the way it truly was?? That is NOT healthy.
DBing is not just about M. The whole GAL and PMA are life skills YOU need. It's about growing inwardly, and then outwardly, and becoming the best man you can become and seeing how your R's with EVERYONE IN YOUR LIFE improves as a result. It is NOT about getting YOUR WIFE TO CHANGE...I don't know how you missed that point. Do you see what we are saying now? Do you want to be happy? Then keep growing and keep GAL and developing happiness skills. How can that not be worth it? If you're too down and depressed to think you deserve to be happy, then start a program for it b/c of your d's...then when you are healthier, you'll see that you are worth it and being happy IS something that "even Kevin is allowed to be."
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
