Look - you will need to look deep within and decide what you want, and then go for it. If you don't want to be married to him, you need to come to grips with that. I can totally understand that you would want to fight for the marriage if you felt more effort coming from him before the bomb and after, and you feel that you would want him more as a man if he hadn't exhibited some of the behaviors in the past that let you down. Yes, we understand that. But ... you have to go from the information you have now.
Do you think he CAN change if he tries?
If he DID change, would you be able to fall in love with him again?
These two questions are loaded for sure, but they are the questions you need to evaluate in order to decide if you want to keep trying or not.
I can tell you that if you just let him drift away with the notion that the marriage "isn't worth saving", then one day you will feel like you should have tried harder. But that's only if you just let him drift away.
On the other hand, if you make an empowering decision, like "I will fight for this marriage" or "I want to be divorced from him and I will not fight for this", then you will not be sorry in the long run.
But if your H is determined that this isn't worth fighting for, then maybe you don't have a choice in the matter anymore anyway.
Whatever you do, however, please try to snap out of your fog and stop waiting for someone else to choose what you want. YOU have to decide...take a little bit more time to be free of your chat room and cleanse yourself from that addiciton...but then you need to reach within and find out what you really want and make a decision.
