Mulesqb - A Day in Court

[mulesqb]

I would like to shake your hand, too. Or rather give you a hug. I'd be lying if I told you I had never shed a tear reading one of your threads.

You've been such an amazing father to your sons during a situation that was difficult (sometimes impossible) to navigate. Truly, having two boys really old enough to understand everything that's going on...my hands are white knuckled on the keyboard, often, when I read your posts.

Coming from a family with its share of crazy people, I've had several illusions I held about people I love growing up wiped/dashed away when I was a young teenager. My parents believed that honesty was the best policy with us. Looking back, I have to disagree. Ignorance really is bliss as far as kids go.

But your oldest son (and to some extent your middle son) already know the situation--too mature to not figure things out. And it's a lot to deal with.

All of them are quickly forming opinions of what is going on. (No pressure! but you're the parent they can't count on).

Your boys just need to understand that their mother loves them, no matter what bru-ha-ha and evil situation she is currently cooking up. Kids need adults they can depend on to love them. That's it really--what kids need--bonds that won't break. And frankly, however they can feel like she loves them and hasn't abandoned them is the best thing for them, no matter what the truth is.

As for you. In my book, you have won. Not because you won your sons, but because you showed the kind of strength that held and rebuilt yourself in the face of huge loss & destruction.

Do you guys hear a soundtrack swelling behind me?? Cause I could go on and describe Mules. Maybe for the movie version, M?

Lost - OK - I'm at work and trying not to get emotional and now we're even as you made me shed a tear.

The honesty/ignorance issue is very real and one I often struggle with. Last night she showed up an hour and a half late to take them out and they didn't want to go. She started in with them that she drove all the way up here and if they don't want to spend time with her then she'll just leave. So I pulled the kids aside and spoke to them. I don't think it was an issue where they didn't want to see her. It was just that they were tired and had a long day and wanted to relax. When they came home she parked her car across the street and slept in one of their houses. Whatever.

I bought them some wrestling pay per view that they wanted so they just focused on that. And quite honestly, it put me right to sleep!

Thanks SO much for the kind words. This place and Michele's books and friends and family. That's what it has been about for me. And my dad's words and the "strength and honor". I think everyone has to have stuff and people to lean on. And then there are the kids. They are worth whatever you have to go through.

I have learned so much here about myself and relationships. I am thinking a lot about a happier relationship with someone. Actually had a date on Saturday night at the coercion of my family. They think it's time. I went and really enjoyed myself with a really great woman. We'll see where it goes from there.

Strength and Honor.