Sorry for the TMI, but I don't understand why the big P time of the month is such a barrier. Even if you or she doesn't want direct contact, you can still have intimacy, caressing, kissing, fondling, humping, blow job... with her underwear on. What's the big deal?
SHE doesn't feel comfortable with it, and so the gate goes up. She often feels bloated, crampy, and generally not up-to-par during that time frame, and I know that she feels decided unsexy also. I also know that she will occasionally Vibe-O herself during her period, but it's one of those areas where there is still disparity between her personal, private sexuality, and what she will display with another person.
Everything you mentioned above would be fine with me, but the P boundary is still one that I'm asked to respect -- and so I do. I've pushed it a little on occasion, but in general, a few days of "off limits" per months isn't a big problem.
-- B.
Me 50, W 45, M for 26 yrs S25, D23, S13, S10 20+ year SSM; recovery began Oct 2007
