Thanks for the encouragement. I just keep telling myself that even when I don't feel it. Patience is such a hard thing too. I am doing my best not to give in and call.
My computer has been acting up on me with some errors and I have no idea what is wrong! I am not good at these kind of things. It makes me realize how much I relied on H for this kind of stuff. Since I decided not to contact him I really don't want to have to ask him for help with this. I just hope it doesn't stop working!
I really need to do some work on my GAL activities. I have 2 full days off bc of the weekend and I have nothing planned besides getting a coffee tomorrow with a friend. I could go to the gym but it feels like such an effort right now, I know I should just DO it and stop thinking about it! I need to meet some new people around here since I only know a couple. I find it a hard thing to do.
Me-27 H-28 M-2.5 yrs T-8.5 yrs No kids B 1/09 S 2/09
Stay strong, stay strong...I really am trying. I don't think I've done all that bad today.
No contact still, little disappointed? yes but not letting it own me, I just thought it and then decided to move on with my day. I got up did things around the house, no not super busy but much more than in nearly a week, so felt good.
I spent a few hrs with a friend today, it was nice out so we spent some time outside and even went and got an ice cream
I got some advice on computer stuff, it is working ok now so here's hoping! I am going to make sure I learn more about how to work things/fix things on the computer. goal?
I am feeling a little foggy myself tonight so am reviewing what I am doing or what I should possibly be doing.
I know what to do RE GAL...I am working on it and slowly adding to this area. I find it hard doing new things with people I don't know but I've found asking myself 'what's the worst that could happen?' helps...the worst thing that could happen is 1. I have a bad time or 2. I make a fool of myself. Neither of which would be that bad in reality. So I am just going to get myself out there more and more.
I suppose I am 'dark' now. I haven't talked to H for over 3 weeks, but had a few very short emails with the last one about 9 days ago. I hope I am doing the right thing with this. That little voice in the back of my mind keeps asking if I am? but I think it is just me worrying and wishing it wasn't like this.
I guess when H does finally contact I will just be upbeat, cheerful and positive.
I will try and get lost in work during the week to keep busy and pick up getting back to the gym regularly. I will just keep on getting on with things.
Me-27 H-28 M-2.5 yrs T-8.5 yrs No kids B 1/09 S 2/09
I am new here, and just read this thread from the beginning. I really commend you, for everything you are doing. My H moved out two days ago, therefore I really can't offer any advice, as I am beginning this struggle myself. But I think you are doing the right thing. Hang in there.
Me: 48 H: 47 M: 16 years Separated: 4/24/09 3 cats, no kids My Story
Hi Judy, Thanks for the comment and support. I still feel like I am new at all this too but am entering my 8th week of trying to follow the books and do what I can and have been separated almost 3 months. I still can't believe H has been gone that long. I'm sure there is a long way to go, but whatever the outcome I am going to try my best.
Me-27 H-28 M-2.5 yrs T-8.5 yrs No kids B 1/09 S 2/09
Patience is coming hard for me tonight. I need to practice this. I keep asking myself how long do I wait? well I guess as long as it takes? I think. I feel like I need to hold out and let H contact me when he wants to/feels ready. It doesn't always seem like what I should do but I think I do see the logic behind the overall picture. I guess I need to give him the chance to miss me and see what its really like without me in the picture, that is what I got from the things I have been reading anyway.
On the other hand I had a busy day at work, had lunch with friend from work and went to gym after work so over all kept myself busy today.
Me-27 H-28 M-2.5 yrs T-8.5 yrs No kids B 1/09 S 2/09
It's funny how we need to realize that the only thing we can change is how we act and react. You are doing well. Continue with the GAL and become the "you" you are proud of!
"It is excruciating pain. It is the pain of separation, the pain of loss, the pain of dreams and expectations unrealized. It is the loss and death of a mirage."
I suppose I am deciding to use this time when H is not contacting me to 1. work on me like everyone keeps telling me! 2. to decide how to implement the changes I having been working on and 3. how to respond when H does finally contact. And I know he will eventually. I just don't know when. So I guess I need to stop asking myself when? and just stick to addressing 1-3 plus all the other self improvements that come up along the way.
And yes I hear ya GTFM, I keep telling myself and many others everyday that we can't change the actions of anyone else but we can change our own and how we react to others actions too. you are so very right.
Last edited by hopeful_cb; 04/27/0909:20 PM.
Me-27 H-28 M-2.5 yrs T-8.5 yrs No kids B 1/09 S 2/09
It sounds like you're doing better and better... keeping busy has really been helping me as well.
Your H will contact you, and it'll probably catch you off guard. But put on a smile and keep it short...
I read somewhere in these posts that men want what they can't have, or think they can't have... so create some mystery, don't be too available when he contacts you, and show him that you're moving on with life, with or without him!
