"I don't wanna spend my life jaded, waiting...

[Creed]

TOH

As WCW said, no one wants you to be unhappy. But we also do not want you to live with regrets from choices you are making now.

You decided to file only after you got yourself involved with another man. You decided to file only after you found someone that treated you better than you felt you were treated by your H. Before that, you were learning to detach from your H antics, to expand your own interests, etc. You were learning how not to react to emotions.

You are now again reacting to emotions. Your thinking is colored by the feelings of a new relationship that has replaced the hurt and pain you were feeling from your ailing marriage.

I think all of us here would have felt much more support for you if you would have filed for D without the influence of a 3rd person in your marriage. And yes..that is what B is...a 3rd person. Just as OW was a 3rd person in the marriage.

You are saying that your relationship with B is much different than when your H became involved with OW. NO IT IS NOT. There is no difference. Why do you think there is a difference?????

You say the marriage was over a long time ago....then why didn't you or H filed at that point? Why now? Why do you think B is supporting you in your decision to D H NOW? Think about it TOH.
Think about the effect that B is having on the decisions you are now making....just like OW had an influence on your H and his choices.

Sigh. Love is blind they say. Apparently lust is too.

Please do not try to excuse starting an affair while still married. Please do not say there is a difference. If B was worth it, he'd wait for you and you would have waited for him until the marriage is/was dissolved...in court and in Gods eyes.

It's your choice, but you can't fault us for feeling the way we do about you're handling of all parties involved. Some of us have been at this for almost a decade..and have felt all the same feelings that you have..plus more. Rebound relationships rarely turn out the way you expect them to. And you're left with even more hurt because you didn't wait to heal yourself.

I am glad that you've posted. It's good to know that you're okay, so we don't worry needlessly. I hope you take care of yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually. I hope you reflect upon the past, the present and the future...and I hope your sense of reality is factual, and not just fantasy.