How does taking bags of trash to the dump have anything to do with the children?
As far as her rants, just tell her "I'm sorry you feel that way," and let it go.
This far into it, you shouldn't need advice for every time you breathe in and breathe out, you should be on to some of the tougher concepts. You're still struggling with even the basics, and seem to have no courage of your convictions, which I COMPLETELY understand, but you still, nevertheless, need to get beyond.
