Just caught up after the weekend. It does seem that you are at a crossroads right now. I hope that you can envision a happy life for yourself, whether your H wants to come along for the ride or not. My point is, please just live for you and don't worry about what he does or doesn't do anymore. You're on your own, anyway.
So, one of the best things you can do for yourself, for the kids, and to inspire your H to take notice of you rather than his work, is to LIVE FOR YOU. Fill each day with what you love to do, stay busy and social. Finding more joy will make you sparkle and shine. It will lift you out of this gray patch. It will help you daydream about what CAN be.
When you start to live more happily, your H will have an easier time seeing what he's missing out on (whether you care anymore if he notices or not). When you start to live more happily, your kids will be happier too.
I hope that you reach a more peaceful place very soon. Your journey has been a long and difficult one!
Lucky
P.S. Something that works for me when I can't sleep: Keep a radio with headset next to your bed, and put the headphones on, tune into a talk show on a very low volume. The topic will get your mind off what is keeping you up, and the low murmuring voices will lull you to sleep!
