The adventure continues- part 4

[gucci loafer]

No time to feel sorry for yourself. You are too busy. Drop that self talk. You are perfectly fine. Life is good. I showed some backbone this weekend. Had a great time with my daughter... etc. etc....

She just left. We got back from the movie and she asked if I would give her a call. So I did.

Mistake. You should have either not called her back or when she asked you to give her a call when you got back, you should have told her you didn't know what time you would be back and for HER TO CALL YOU.

Like this...
I don't know what time we will be back so give me a call after ________ (9:00, 10:00 whatever.. just name a time)


Remember.. Either don't call back when she asks or turn it around and tell her that you are not sure when or if you can and then tell her what time she "can" call you back..

TOTAL difference. Confident. Secure. Firm. Nice. Short and sweet...

She said oh, you're back already? I said yes, are you coming over?

Mistake

SEE? You called her too SOON. No mystery here. You should not have asked her if she was coming over. (weak) You should have not brought it up and waited for her to ASK YOU if she could come over. Then you could have told her,no, not tonight because "I"_________ (had a long day, was "just" this or "just that" or whatever.....

Interesting, interesting, I did not pursue at all.

You still let her set the terms though. She got you to call her back and she got to come over when she wanted to come over. You would have made much more ground by refusing to let her come over. Just matter of fact. No big deal. Not mean. Not punitive. Too busy and too short notice. Already have other plans and things to do. Sorry, talk to you later. Gotta run. Call me sometime this week and we can work something out. Ta ta.

You are showing signs of coming around. Fine tune this up a bit more. Nothing to fear about getting some backbone and being a little more confident and independent.

Stay out of her relationship with the daughter. Let them work it out themselves. They are both playing you. Not good.