I have a quick question about MLC based on what you've learned. Does a personal crisis ever "shock" someone in MLC into realizing what they've fallen into and help them move out of MLC?
For me, I did have a "shock" or a personal crisis that rocked me to the core. However, I have said over and over that my stitch was sort of an exception b/c of the "lateness" in my life that this happen. I was not in the age range that most people consider MLCers to be, however, I do believe that that was what was happening to me. As for the "shock", I believe it started me on my way to try to get my act together but it still took quite a bit of time with me working to get out of the state I was in. Even when you realize what you are doing and how you are destroying the family and marriage and everything that you have ever known, it just takes a lot of time to get through it. In my personal stitch, I think hormones had a lot to do with some of my feeling as if I was "losing it" at times. But, I don't blame all of that on menopause b/c too much in our MR had led up to what happened to me and what led to the EA. That is why I really don't know how to answer some of the questions presented to me about people's spouses who are in MLC b/c I think I was an exception to the rule (if there is such a thing).
Back to your original question, in case I didn't make myself clear.......I do think if the "shock" is to a great degree that it can make the fog clear up a great deal for that person in MLC but again it is his/her choice as to whether they want to get out of that situation and straighten up and get back on the right track. We may not understand everything that is happening to us at times, but I believe we always have a "choice" as to how we chose about relationships and mostly about how we live our lives.
I hope you can let me know what happened.
Take care, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
