I understand what you are saying about my sister 'chickening out'. But how do I file for divorce, get a protection order, and when he asks me why I want a divorce, just say becuase.....
If you have a protection order, it will probably order that he has no contact with you whatsoever. If that is the case, you shouldn't explain anything to someone who is contacting you in violation of a court order.
Even if that is not the case, you don't have to explain anything to him. Even if you did, do you suppose he would say, 'Oh, I understand now'? More likely you would experience further abuse if you attempt to explain.
Originally Posted By: lost-n-Iowa
I want him to know that he did not keep this a secret liek he thought that he could. I want him to know that because of his sexually addictive ways and the things that I have found out about him is the reason why he is losing his marriage. I don't want him to think that I jsut decided that I did not want to make this marriage work anymore. I want him to know that he is the one that messed this up not me. I want him to see how he has hurt me because of HIM!!
If you must tell him, wait until you are safely away from him and divorced. Right now, what he doesn't know can be an asset to you in case he reveals anything further to your sister that is useful to you.
Originally Posted By: lost-n-Iowa
Maybe I am thinking with my heart and my emotions and not with my head right now but I don't want to take any of the blame for what he has been doing.
It would be almost impossible not to be emotional in your situation, but yes, use your head and make the choices that get you safely out of there first and foremost.
You don't deserve any blame for what he has been doing so don't blame yourself even if other people try to lay that on you.
Originally Posted By: lost-n-Iowa
He should be told that he is not as great has he thinks, that he is not in as much control as he believes.
Divorcing him says it more eloquently than words ever could.
Originally Posted By: lost-n-Iowa
If I can tell him this things how am I to get past it. Get closure on this. I would always feel like he would think that he got away with these behaviors and that I was stupid and never knew what he was doing.
I know that it may be playing with fire but I can only pray that he will be the only one to get burnt.
You can decide later whether it is in your best interest to tell him anything. It's not a decision you need to make right now.
Yes, you would be playing with fire to get in to it now.
