Thanks for checking in. I'm doing OK, but today was not a good day.
I dropped my kids off at the movies, went back to the house, and W says "We need to talk". Well, I knew it was coming, but it finally happened. She said she just can't keep on doing what we're doing, she's ready to move on, she's tiring of being in limbo, and she want to dissolve the marriage. I said "what do you mean dissolve?". She said she wants a divorce. I said I don't so I guess we're still at an impasse. Then she starts to get annoyed - "I was hoping we could do this amicably, are you saying you are going to drag this out?"
me-"No, I'm just not going to do anything to help move it along"
w- "So you're going to stall and delay things, hoping I'll change my mind"
me- "No, I'm just not going to do anything to help move it along"
w- "So it's all on me."
me- "Well, yeah, it really is as you are the one who wants this"
w-"I was hoping we could just do this easily, just work it out between us and not have to go through a long drawn out legal process"
me- "I don't think so. Destroying an 18 year marriage where there are kids involved cannot be an easy process, there's too much at stake"
w- "So that's how you are going to be..."
me- "No, that's not 'how I'm going to be', that's how it is. If you are expecting this to be a nice easy process, like when you sign all the papers when you buy a house, and let the lawyers deal with all the legal crap, you're wrong. This is going to suck, it's going to really suck, and in the end we're both going to end up worse off."
w- "I don't know why you say that"
me- "Look, no matter how you look at this, it's going to suck for everyone involved, you, me, and especially the kids."
w- "It will be hard for them at first, but in the long run they will be better off because they will have closure. Living in limbo like we are now isn't good for them."
me- "So you're saying that they will be better off if we get divorced"
w- "Yeah, I think they will. Right now they are so confused wondering what's going to happen. They need closure so we can all move on."
me- "I'm just going to have to disagree with you on that. I have to get out of here, I'll see you later"
Fortunately I was able to have this whole conversation without getting emotional, and actually kept a pretty positive tone throughout, which I think threw her off, because she got increasingly annoyed throughout the the conversation. I think she was also surprised when I just ended it abruptly and left.
So now I wait and see what she does. This really does suck.
