I did go out with my friends last night. I took the train into the city by myself (hadn't done that in 20 years...), went to a fun Mexican restaurant, drank too many margartias (not b/c I am down, but because we were all just having a good time!). It was lonely and a bit awkward being there alone with two other couples. I missed having H there (and my friends missed him as well).
I did some more shopping today. I have lost 6 pounds over the past few months (not because of WAS, that just happened this week), and for the first time in years, I am REALLY happy about how I look when trying on new clothes.
I was going to go for a bike ride today, but last night's margarita's took their toll... Maybe I will a little later, after I drink more water.
I feel like I have a new outlook for myself. I have been repeating these words to myself over and over today, and I encourage others to do the same:
1) I am hot! 2) I am sexy! 3) I am a self-confident woman! 4) I like myself!
These positive affirmations really work!
H is coming over tomorrow after we both get done work. It was his idea, but I'm not sure if it's b/c he feels sorry for me, or if he wants to see me. The last he saw me was Friday morning (his moving out day) when I left for work. I was pathetic. This was before I bought my copy of DR, of course.
When he comes over tomorrow, he will see that I am holding my head 'way up high.
My first written goal is for him to question whether leaving me is a really such a good idea. When (not "if") that happens, it will be the first small step toward building our life again. ----
Me: 48 H: 47 M: 16 years Separated: 4/24/09 3 cats, no kids My Story
