Father Alone

[mlb1976]

Priority #1 is to get my head back on straight again.
Priority #2 is to get my life stable again
Priority #3 go fishing, a lot lol
priority #4 probably the hardest, tear down my walls and move on

I think she is too far gone, She is living like a rockstar right now and i cant compete with that. I have a loving home, a patient attitude, I dont drink too often or run the bars. These are the thing that are important to her and truth be told they always have been. She wants to be the center of attention, she throws tantrums when she doesnt get her way, she spews out some of the meanest things ive ever heard. Not just at me but the kids too. She let our house go so she could move in with her grandmother, who watches the kids constantly while the W is out making new "friends". I feel so bad for granny, she is almost 80, dealing with a troubled teenagre, a 5 year old boy and sometimes our 2 year old.
The only reasoning ive seen from her is "whats in it for me"

Now our relationship was hardly conventional, We had this overwhelming sense of security and trust. Beyond what you could imagine, ours was what i thought to be unconditional, I was wrong, she is a cake eater as you all put it. At this moment i want to walk up to her and hand her the D papers myself.

The car was a nice gesture, but now im back on the shitlist after she got what she wanted.

Do i really want to spend my days doing these tasks so she can blow me off on a whim. I wasnt interested in sex, just wanted some us time. She seemed so torn about that, the only thing that made sense to me is that she doesnt know how to mingle the two new lifestyles together.

I wouldnt stand for the going out nightly and not coming home.

Pain is an insidious foe, just when you have it raionalized it rears its ugly head and humbles you.

I have a date tonight, dont know if i should go on it thoughj. this woman is very sweet and she would go sbove and beyond to keep ma up beat.

I keep womdering )what if mu W called me and said come home, not likely but its still there.

do i still wantt her now?guess ill figure it out

take care guys and have a great weekend.

rollercoater you say: i love those lol