Hi, I would suggest going dark by limiting your contact to only what concerns your D.
When these things are going on they seem to follow a script of lines and behaviors. I mean we have an acronym for the I Love You, But am Not In Love With You, ILYBNILWY. I never loved you at all is common, I dont know why, but they all say and do the same junk. Luckily, the A's also follow a pattern. They almost ALWAYS fail, you cant build a relationship in dirty soil and expect it to thrive. Unfortunately, we, as the LBS also follow a pattern, begging, crying, screaming, trying to prove how we were happy etc. That pattern doesnt work.
You need to make yourself less desperate feeling, going dark will help that, not having the contact with him will help you have more good days and it will make him curious about what you have been up to, I know that he professes to not care at all about you anymore, but that is also a line from the script of the walkaway H. He really doesnt care about the mother of his D? Or care about you as a person? What a cruel thing to say, along with being cruel it is almost totally unbelievable. Thats just ridiculous. He's just trying to be an @$$, and doing it pretty well too.
Have you thought about trying to get some medicine to help you through this, I know a lot of people, myself included, found it to be extremely helpful. I dont use them anymore, but I really think that this is a place where they can be properly used.
Right now you need to be focusing on you and your D, I know that you have already been told that, but its sooo true, especially right now. It will not only help you heal, but will make you better positioned as an attractive person when his A ends.
Remember, almost 80% of marriages survive infidelity. Give some thought to what I said about the anti-depressant, anti-anxiety meds will you? You dont have to feel like this.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
