German wife still foggy

[PortlandDad]

Journaling:
The W called me yesterday and wanted to talk. She was in a bit of a snippy mood. I asked her if she was still resolute in her coming back home and working on the M. She said that she didn't know. I asked her what she meant and she said that she didn't know if she still wanted to come home or not. I asked what it was that was giving her 2nd thoughts and she said that it was her fear that things would go back to being the same. I told her that it wouldn't be the same because the things that she had complained to me about were fundamentally changed. I asked her if she had made any plans and she said that she had packed a few things, but she hadn't talked to the dealer about her car because he hadn't called her back.

I started getting a little irritated and asked her if she still wanted to talk about the book that I sent her. She said that she didn't want to do that right now. I said fine. By this time I was getting really irritated, so I told her that I wasn't going to tolerate lies or dishonesty any more. It is disrespectful to me and I won't have it. She softened a little and asked how I thought she was lying to me. I told her that even a fool could see what is going on here. She didn't press on for an explanation. I told her that if she wanted to be with me and our family that she would need to be a lot more transparent to me.

Before I hung up with her, I told her that by next Saturday she had to tell me the exact day, flight, and time that she would be coming back on. I had meant to tell her the consequence of not getting this information (that I would file for a contested divorce), but it didn't seem warranted as she agreed to do it. She hung up saying that she was going to a dance club with a GF and needed to go get ready. I was shaking when I hung up with her.

She called me about 3 hours later from the club. She let me talk briefly with her GF. Then she called me again about 3 hours later when she got home from the club (2 AM her time). I guess she really took the transparency thing to heart!

That conversation was about as anti-DBing as I've ever had, but I think it had the desired effect.

I felt good yesterday: took the kids shopping at the mall. The weather wasn't nice enough to take a drive up the gorge, but maybe today it will be better and we can go take some pictures of the wildflowers.

Hope everyone else's week is going well and hope your DBing efforts are paying off!