I am picking my children up for the weekend from my wife for the first time. I know I have got to be upbeat and confident etc in front of her, but is there anything else I should do or say?
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
I went to church this morning for the first time since my children were baptised there 7 years ago. I felt anxious before I went because it was the church where my wife and I married 15 years ago. I was quite upset and I had a few tears in my eyes as my mind wandered back as though it was yesterday. Walking down the aisle, exchanging vows, all our family and friends that were there. It was torture to be honest.
I prayed pretty much through the whole hour and I am glad I went as I will try and go every other week when I am on my own. I don't know if it makes any difference to my mindset but I will try and forgive my wife and hope that she sees sense in the not too distant future. I am not a spiritual, holy man by any means but I will do anything to help myself and to pray for my wife and children and hope we can all be together again one day.
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
I too have wandered away from church, and am getting into going back. Instead of leading my family, as I"m instructed to do, my daughter (20) has invited ME to her church this morning! As convicted as that made me feel, I'm also grateful that she'd want her "old man" with her, and I'm excited about going.
God has never left my side thru my entire ordeal. Sadly, I left HIS, but that's going to change.
I hope you gained strength from your experince, I sort of did but I did shed a tear once I left the church.
Puppy please could me on this. I went to the house on Friday to pick up my children. My best mans xwife popped in while I was there who I had not seen for a few years. We hugged (which was great because I have not hugged a woman for so long), and she asked me how I was doing. As my wife was also in the kitchen I said "great", I kept upbeat, told her how I was trying to improve my job prospects which includes posting my computer services I can provide into houses. My wife heard this and said "I told him to do this 10 years ago". She also said to my friend "he's never liked what he does for a living". My wife never uttered my name on either occasion, but I ignored her negative statements and thought this was the time to leave. I then said to our friend we must go out for a drink sometime which she excepted.
Originally, I was to give the children dinner and then take them back, but I decided to go one better and offer to have them for the night which I did. We did some nice things and I took them back the following morning, my wife had obviuosly been out the night before as her car was parked somewhere else on Saturday (I must stop wondering what she is doing).
I had to go to our bedroom to pick some things up and I noticed she has thrown away our wedding place settings with our names on it and our wedding cushion which had our names on it, date etc was put in a drawer. I felt shattered and numb but I did not say anything as I was so shocked. I kissed the children goodbye, my S7 came to the door and sounded sad when he said goodbye (that hurt), and I said goodbye to my wife and said I would see them Wednesday.
It appears my wife is now preparing herself for her single life by removing all memories of our past - no photographs, no wedding presents, memories, NOTHING. Is this normal for a WAW and is she now drawing a line regarding our life together? Please respond.
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
I need some swift advice. My wife who mostly communicates via text has just told me she has been in the garden all day with her dad and has 10 rubbish bags and other stuff to take to the tip. She used my name for the first time in a while in a text but I suspect it is because she wants me to do something for her, usually the texts are negative and my name is never used. She 'wondered if I would be kind enough to take them to the tip, hope that is ok, thanks alot'.
Coach said a first step to reconcilliation is friendship. If a friend asked me to take some bags to the tip then I would, though I would not say the way my wife has been treating me would be constued as 'friendship'. This is the conundrum - does taking the rubbish to the tip be seen as doormat and 'cake-eating', or a sign of friendship in helping re-build our relationship?
My question is do I or don't I?
Last edited by markhaving probs; 04/26/0905:07 PM.
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
I assume you mean she is just using me when it suits her?
I am going to tell her I will do anything to help her if it pertains to the children. I am going to set this as a boundary, she is quite happy to buy light fittings, curtains without my imput as she told me the house will not be mine much longer. Yet, she still wants to be a run around when it suits her.
I now need to 'man up' here and say it how it is. how should I word my response?
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
