Thank you for looking in on my posts especially the other forums, that is very kind. It's interesting you make the point how alot of my posts are in regard to influencing my wife. It is only when somebody else is reading them that they can see the situation clearer.
you are absolutely right I must start to focus on me and the children. In regard to what I am doing I would say the same thing as most DB'ers - the gym, detaching, trying to further my job prospects. The areas I am struggling in is PMA and GAL as I am currently out of work, which is adding to my mental state associated with no money coming in.
This is the main area where I have never really been happy, it was even quoted to me on Friday by my wife, though I chose not to respond, and has been a great sense of stress trying to earn enough without really enjoying it. As a part of my self analysis I would walk into the house shout at the children, not very nice to my wife etc. Whereas now I would not have gone home in that mood. My career has always been a bit flakey, but I have always earnt well when I have a contract, it is how I have dealt with being out of contract that has influenced my wife to a degree. She says I do not handle stress very well.
So, apart from the gym, detaching, I also went back to church today for the first time in 7 years. I am not a devout christian by any means but I feel I just need to re-connect with the church and look within myself as you stated. It was hard, as it was the church my wife and I married in, and all the emotions of that day came flooding back, and I must admit I did shed a tear during mass. I have also calmed my temper down to a point where I used to shout at the children and finally smack them, but since the bomb dropped I now talk to them, no smacking and they usually come round. That is a big 180 for me and I did it up until we seperated, and continue to do so.
I have/am making changes for me as I now have lots of time on my hands for self analysis and try to plan my future. I am still unsure as to my career path which I need to resolve, but I will try and change my mindset as clearly this is not working for me.
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
