The adventure continues- part 4

[AFWAW]

I hope you and your wife get back together...it is obvious you love her very much. I hope you make SMSgt...great pay raise and will add about $800-1K monthly to your retirement, not bad at your age and it will add u. Two MSgt's retired pay takes alot of stress off of both of you.

I hope so too, both of these, that we get back together and that I make SMSgt however I am not holding my breath on either.

If you have not already...you need to hope for the best and prepare for the storm that is coming.

Oh, I am and I finally got caught up on my sleep. Just got a phone call from the wife. She wanted to come over and spend time with my daughter. I told her we were on the way out the door to go feed the birds and see a movie. She said well, when am I going to get to spend some time with her? I said, actually this is first time that I can remember that you have tried. She said well, I was trying to give her space. Ok, what do you want? She said I want to have her every weekend. I said no, that's not fair, that's the only quality time there is. You can have her every other weekend. She said well, you have her through the week. I said, I know, I take care of her through the week and there is little quality time with work and school. She said, you can't keep my D from me. I said, I haven't tried to. If you want to see D, then all you have to do is talk to me. She said you don't have custody. I said, are you threatening me, seriously? She said no. I said, ok, look, if you want to spend time w/ D then let me know. I haven't tried to keep her from you. I said, is this the way it's going to be? Are you going to start being nasty with me? Cause I'm not going to have a conversation w/ you if you think you're going to talk with me that way. She backpedaled very quickly and asked how she was being nasty. She then asked if I would give her a call later after we got home so that she could come over and spend time w/ D. Sure, no problem.

Whew--tried to set a boundry. Not sure how successful I was.

Close any joint accounts - including bank, credit card, investment, and HELOC. Anything with both your names on it that she can drain money out of or run up the balance on needs to be closed. If you have any money saved use it to pay off your bills (car, credit cards, store cards, start a college fund for your daughter) before you have to split it...no court will fault you for getting your family out of debt. DO THIS NOW BEFORE SHE DOES!

Still have a joint account but majority of assets have been transferred to individual account. She's paying off all the bills. I only have a car payment and mortgage. D already has a college fund that I'm paying for.

Be polite to your wife and avoid contact...the affair needs to end or nothing you do will work. If you could get proof that would at least convince your commander and shirt you could really change the dynamics of this...not sure if your wife told you the "entire truth" about the other affair...although I am sure it happens for a Lt Col to get an LOR for adultry and then make Col is unusual even for the Guard. Doesn't matter other than for the entertainment value to read

I have been polite with some minor screwups. I do need proof, that would be nice. I'm not going to use my hard earned money to try and catch her. And you may be right about the wife, she's lied about everything else--who knows when she is telling the truth.

Just playing it by ear right now. We'll have to see what happens next. Hopefully a good guy will catch a break.

Thanks again for your inputs!