I hope you and your wife get back together...it is obvious you love her very much. I hope you make SMSgt...great pay raise and will add about $800-1K monthly to your retirement, not bad at your age and it will add u. Two MSgt's retired pay takes alot of stress off of both of you.
If you have not already...you need to hope for the best and prepare for the storm that is coming.
If you have any concrete proof of her infidelity, preserve it! Maintain several copies, burn emails to CD and print copies. Evidence has this curious way of disappearing once push comes to shove.
Close any joint accounts - including bank, credit card, investment, and HELOC. Anything with both your names on it that she can drain money out of or run up the balance on needs to be closed. If you have any money saved use it to pay off your bills (car, credit cards, store cards, start a college fund for your daughter) before you have to split it...no court will fault you for getting your family out of debt. DO THIS NOW BEFORE SHE DOES!
Document time spent with the kids - what you do and when. Do this is a handwritten log...just because you are in FL doesn't mean she will get custody and at her age your daughter will have some say in where she stays...your wife moving out will not look good to the court.
Keep working on yourself...time with your daughter, church, improve your house, keep it clean, PT (the AF is really pushing this...try to get a 100), degree.
Be polite to your wife and avoid contact...the affair needs to end or nothing you do will work. If you could get proof that would at least convince your commander and shirt you could really change the dynamics of this...not sure if your wife told you the "entire truth" about the other affair...although I am sure it happens for a Lt Col to get an LOR for adultry and then make Col is unusual even for the Guard. Doesn't matter other than for the entertainment value to read.
If you could afford a PI that could get you proof it would help. I do not want to see you sitting out in her apartment parking lot...not good for you in many ways. Slow down and expect nothing to change until this affair is over. You will then have to decide what you want to do...you may decide you do not want her her by then...
