Hey K.. no not at all, you are not mean like he said, no not at all! We said, you are a loving mother, a good friend, HE is the mean one. When I say act with kindness.. I meant to do it even though he doesnt even deserve it! A kind of extra kindness in the face of coldness/meanness. MLC or not, he is the mean one, in actions and words. Why should I be nice to my ex? He has treated me like sh*t ! But the point is, I'm saying what Cyrena said, just because they say they want back doesnt mean they are suddenly 'cured' overnight. I think your H is still in some state of unhappiness/crisis/I dont know!
Sorry K, I wasnt saying you havent been kind, but that could you continue for longer whilst stop feeling resentful that you get nothing back for those kindnesses. Clearly, you dont want to! So you walked across and hugged him, its a rock in the river.. and who knows how long that might take before enough rocks built up, or perhaps in your H's case,you could throw rocks until the end of time and he would never change, soften, or whatever. Maybe this is just him and its about accepting that?
Its just a different view point, but seems like you think that enough is enough then, "no more excuses". Fair enough ! That poster also says (as others do) that MLC or not, sometimes as you say, too bad! Too little, too late and you are done hoping. I wouldnt blame you for that and you are NOT a failure ! Anymore than any of us here are.
