Hey Al, what is this? Do you think I should be in the same sitch as you? You told me that last night and I think you are missig a point here...
Let me put it in other words and maybe you will understand. Let's say BF comes back to you in a week. And you are ready. He says he loves and wants to be with you. He declares he knows what went worng and wants to change things. And then..., nothing. He keeps NOT calling, not initiating any contact and comes by every once in a while, with sporadic actions of "caring" that dont even match up to what youw would do for a friend. And that continues for 7 [censored] months... And there is no progress and you are still feeling lonely and every now and then he hurts you also. Tell me, how frustrating would that be you think? Tell me what would you do and what would you think? It is a joke.
We are not in the same phase. You cant compare. It's a freakin joke and I am surprised you dont see it. And yes, I did walk across the room and hugged him a few times, and I did kiss him and no he didnt push me away. But he never did try to kiss me either. And when he sleeps here I am the ONLY one trying to snuggle and even vocalised my surprise he doesnt want to touch me (not sexually) in any way. And yes, I have been trying to be patient and understanding about his work and in opposite of what you suggested didnt tell him to leave a job or I am gone. I RESPECT his position and his very little time,that's caring not? So what? Where did that get me? It seems he takes it for granted instead of realising and appreciating how hard that is for me.
And you know what? You forget. He left. He came back when I was telling him I am over him, when I asked for divorce. I didnt beg, I didnt tell him he has all the time of the world, I didnt say I would put up with anything just to have him back... On the contrary. And he stated he was up to the challenge to make my heart warm again. Lied to me. He never followed any of the Cs suggestions, never tried to ease my pain, never showed any compassion. He couldnt even be honest when I did beg for the truth. And I let it slide. Hevnt mentioned it for a while.
I was surprised not many of you didnt quote my posts of the past when I was declaring all the things I would ask for as prerequisites. I have yet, recieved nothing of those. Not even some progress on some areas. Period.
He maybe still in MLC. HIS PROBLEM!!!!!! He is making choices and will have to bear the conseqeunces. I did too and he left. I never got a second chance from him. He ruined my life, me, emotionally, "security" wise, romantically, trust wise, financially, let alone the kids, etc etc ... I took the consequences as a ... man. LOL
His free ride pass is being revoked.
How can you compare your timing with what's going on here? I've been there, where you are now, a year ago, and I was patient and loving and DBed my ass off. And it "worked", right? Well, not really but that's what it seemed like 7 months ago.
No, I dont get what you are saying. I dont want to think any more excuses for him. Kindness? What do you think? That I am mean? Like he says? No, I am not. I am giving him enough rope to hang himself and he is.
7 months Ali, he never found the time to take me for dinner so that we can spend time together. How pathetic that makes me? VERY I would say. I am done begging. I am done hoping and wishing.
Fosusing on me right now. I better start grieving the end of an era so I can follow through with my decisions when the time comes. It saddens me. It does make me feel like a failure. I do think "what a shame" almost every moment I am awake. I will get over it. K
