Keep backpedaling with DR

[2inlimbo]

This is my first post. Long story short, my husband had an EA 2 years ago. Many lies to me during that period. Got rid of the girl and was very transparent afterwards, letting me read emails, etc. This has changed in the past year and everything is password protected, secetive. I do not know if there's an EA or PA. Additionally, a bad investment has nearly (and is still) banfrupted us. This drama from the investment caused a lot of anger on my part bc it was without my knowledge.

Well my husband said in March he's sick of me nagging in addition to being continuously angry and critical regarding the past issues. I will admit I've been very resentful with its subsequent behaviors.He said he wanted divorce and I could not have another chance. I did the ususal response-grovelling, crying, begging, which pushed him away further. We are separated. For financial reasons, he's still in the house, but we're in separate rooms.

He recently took a trip with the kids without me and came back from it and said he'd give me more time to improve myself. He said I need to change. he said he's changed all he can and now it's my turn. So I'm doing the Last Resort Technigue mixed with a little Love Dare. I'm trying to not chase, avoid talking about the marriage or the future. I make lots of fun plans with my friends, stay busy, am exercising, losing weight, dressing well. In the love Dare approach, I am doing ittle things I didnt'd do before, getting him morning coffee, giving more compliments and encouraging words.

Problem is I keep backpedaling. Last night we were watching a movie and I was keeping it light, until I said " I just can't understand why wecan't sleep in the same bed." Well of course this response got me nowhere. He said if I don't understand that then I just don't get it. I immediately said goodnight and went to bed. (Don't show anger, remove yourself from upsetting situations).

My question is, am I doing the right thing? And what should I do when I backpedal and screw up? I also have a problem showing more cheerfulness when I feel such pain, and tricks with that?

Me 39
H 42
M 11, T 12
S 10,6
D 3
EZ 2005
separated since 3/10/09