I am struggling to decide what it is I need to do. I do not want to be married to this man who has done all of this. I am ashamed to walk around with his name. I, on the one hand, want to file a divorce and cite adultery. I have cell phone records of his incoming and outgoing texts and phone calls to her. I am not sure if I could get actual transcripts of what was in the text messages. I feel so duped that this went on for so long. He lied to my children when they asked him who he was texting. He would tell them that it was me and then when one of them would say they were going to text me he would say that I was busy and needed to go, yet he continued texting. My marriage didn't have a chance. I could have been the perfect wife and I would still be sitting here having to figure out how to go about divorcing him. I also think about just filing an uncontested divorce, just to get it over with. I am going to take all the debt that is in my name (credit cards, my student loans, and such). Even though it was racked up while we were married and leave him with the one credit card that is in his name and his new truck that he put a down payment on with money his dad sent. It isn't an equal split for sure, but I'm so not going to mess with alimony.
The OW is buying him clothes now, taking him shoppping, to concerts, and basically my H has become a prostitute. He is pimping himself out. They are both such miserable people and I know that this relationship won't last. They are both too needy and too selfish to be able to function together. She has wanted him for such a long time because she was jealous of my relationship with him, but she is not me and one day he will realize that. It will be too late.
I am saddened and brought to tears by the actions of these two people. They have ruined so many lives by their selfishness and by admission neither one of them have any guilt. To be honest, I do not want to be friends with nor married to someone who could do this much hurt to someone intentionally and not feel remorse. It's sick and depraved behavior.
"It is excruciating pain. It is the pain of separation, the pain of loss, the pain of dreams and expectations unrealized. It is the loss and death of a mirage."
