I've followed your whole story, and I am so impressed with how you've handled yourself. Our situations are very similar in many ways.
I agree with others here, you've got to hold tough now. Your W is acting in a horrible mannerr, and doesn't deserve anything other than disregard until she really changes her attitude and gives you the respect you most definitely deserve.
On the one hand, you've gotten something I haven't, which is the explosion of regret and remorse and declaration that you are the victim here. My W still acts as though she's done nothing wrong, and has shown not one shred of remorse or regret, and that's starting to weigh on me. I know she's riddled with guilt, but I'd really like to see some remorse directed my way. Sometimes I think I'm giving her a free pass on her guilt, because I only show her than I'm fine, as per DB recommendations, although I really am doing mostly fine, so it's not really an act. I know that her guilt is her own, and me trying to beat her over the head with it only makes my situation worse.
On the other hand, your W is being mean and cruel to you, while my W acts kind toward me, and we have nice times together. I just don't know if I should allow her those nice times, as I sometimes feel they're compromising my self respect. It's a fine line to walk, that's for sure.
