Divorce looming #11

[K4D]

Sorry, it will have to start after this.

I had to call my W to get further clarification on what exactly she wanted done with the lice stuff and its good I did, because I was thinking I needed to do more than I did.

Well, she proceeds to ask me what D7 looked like at the birthday party. W's best friend of 25 years was throwing the party for her 7 year old.

I said D7 had on a yellow shirt, blue pants white shoes and her hair was brushed. W said her friend told her that D7 looked like crap and was not presentable. I let D7 pick out her clothes and I thought she was fine. It was a warm sunny day outside.

That really pissed me off. I can't even get a break from her friend. Did she really have to give my W more ammo against me? I feel like calling her friend and asking why it was necessary to further assist in ammo to tear our family apart?

I'm really frusturated about that. I'm trying to do everything W asks of me and to get slammed like that just pisses me off. Its another setback that I did not need.

Uggg...

Sorry.

Kevin

[25yearsmlc]

I don't believe the friend said that. Maybe she laughingly said "guess Kev picked the clothes and doesn't know what matches" and was doing some mocking, OR Said "guess he let d7 dress herself"...or she DID say it and she is an evil woman.


No FRIEND would tell a friend that HER DAUGHTER "LOOKED LIKE CRAP"...maybe YOU should tell your wife, "Gee w, can't believe you let your friend talk like that about OUR d7.. OR COMFORT YOUR W and say what an ugly thing for HER "friend" to say...hope it didnt' HURT YOUR FEELINGS TOO MUCH!!" And leave it at that. (As if the FRIEND did the wrong thing, NOT YOU...which is true, IF the friend made comments like that but if it's blown up by w, then let her see that the truth of the matter is, you stick up for your kids...and she had no business talking to you like that OR referring to your d7 like that. Next time she can send party clothes she picks out if she's so concerned.

and by the way, considering the kids have lice, which I assume NO ONE knows...it's amazing her hair looked good at all. Not sure how I'd feel about kids at a party with lice. What's up with that?

(( j ))

[Sara]

Kevin,

This is just typical divorce stuff. It's really bad when they do it in the courtroom. But it is BS. Don't let it get under your skin. I'm sure your daughter looked fine. It is sad when people stoop to such lows. Your daughter is old enough to choose her own clothing, and as long as it is clean, it is fine. Your wife thinks she is infinitely better than you at everything. That is too bad, she will still have to share them with you.

And on the lice thing. I've been through it. You have to not only use the shampoo, but also spray the sofas and carseats and all bedding they are in contact with. Unless you do the house and car too, it comes back.

[K4D]

They had treatments done earlier in the week. W only wanted listerine put in their hair tonite as a precaution. There was really no concern with the lice.

At the end of the call W said she would talk to me in the morning and to tell the girls good night for her. Later D11 tried to call her and she didn't answer her phone.

I'm calmed down now. I was just frusturated because I felt like it was another setback that I didn't deserve. I'm trying to make sure everything in the house is done that W asked to have done before she gets back on Monday and at the same time take the kids to their activities she wanted them to go to. I'm supposed to take the kids to a painting thing at the church tomorrow from 3pm til 7pm. I will also be taking them to church in the morning. But I'm the one that makes sure the kids get to church on Sunday mornings.

Alright, another day almost down.

Kevin

[25yearsmlc]

I assume by now YOU can see the advantages of having your own place?

Thank GOD.

(( j ))

[CityGirl]

What exactly does your W request that you do around the house? Other than picking up any mess you make while you are there I wouldnt do a thing. You dont live there, she wont let you live there and you are not a maid or babysitter. You are there to be with your children and since she wont let you live there, all household duties and chores now fall squarely on her shoulders.

Kevin - stop thinking what you do or dont deserve. Who cares what your W's friend said? You W will do anything she can to get under your skin. Dont let her. Like 25 said - turn it back to her and point out that (A) nobody should be talking about your daughter that way or (B) how sorry you are that your W has a friend like that!

[K4D]

I'm not going to call her back and say anything. And if I say anything about her friend, she is likely to get defensive and then what good would that do me.

I help out around the house because I feel obligated to and I want to make W happy. I try to do whatever I can that might help our situation and not hurt it. She doesn't want me here at all but allows it now and then so I do what I can so she doesn't resent me being here and I also am trying to show her I am responsible. I do clean up my messes. This weekend she had to wash everything because of the lice so I have been doing that and putting stuff away. I also do the dishes for her. I notice they never get done except when I am here. So I do them.

She generally has little things here and there she wants done. I do it without complaining as I am happy to be in the house any chance I get.

And since my kids are involved, I need to do whatever I can for their sake.

Kevin

[25yearsmlc]

so how's that approach working? You know, the one where you do the work b/c you "want to make her happy"????

How's THAT GOING FOR YOU???

Oh yeah, it isn't.

(( j ))

[25yearsmlc]

citygirl,
can you check out "newbie's first post" thread? it's a new person who accidentally hijacked ("Kara") the original, and needs some help. So she's actually on another person's thread but that's the title so far...

I just posted to her...

Kev, sorry for the temp hijack...

(( j ))

[K4D]

No. It isn't.

Kevin