Not sure if I should have, but I told her that it still hurts to see her and this entire situation. She just said sorry. I told her that I know it's something that she feels like she needs to do."
This would have been the perfect time to end the conversation. You told her how you felt and that's that.
It does get easier and the more you do it, you'll see when to cut things short.
Again, very early in your sitch.
She called tonite to talk to the kids, but I had missed the call and didn't see it until after the kids went to bed. I called her back to appologize and asked if she wanted me to check if the kids were awake. She said no. I was going to just say good nite at that point but then she started talking about her day. I let her go for a few minutes. When she shifted to how much work she had to do tonite to get her apartment organized, I took that opportunity to end the call and say I'll let her get going then and said goodnite.
Afterwards, as I didn't say very much during the call at all, I thought I might have been too cold so I called her back and asked her how her garage sale went (it was this morning). She told me and we chit chatted lightly about that. Then she started to talk about a few more things she was doing tonite. Then we said good nite again.
Not sure if I should have made the second call, but thought I was a little cold again during the first call. I guess what I'm trying to work out is Dark/Dim where you don't say much at all, even when she's talking about her day? During the first call, all I would say was "Oh" but then realized that was exactly how I had been when she felt that I wasn't paying attention to her nor intetereted. Part of my 180, I was interactive and engaged in her conversation. So what do I do in Dark/Dim?
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
