So she like never shows any admiration towards you or compliments either?
Nope.
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How does she act when you do give her compliments?
Loves them. Like a junkie getting their fix.
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Does it change her demeanor at all?
Only temporarily. You have to continually feed the beast if you want her to stay in a good mood.
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Her behavior just baffles me.
It used to baffle me, too, and then I learned more about NPD. It fits her.
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What realities do you think she was able to see yesterday?
Mainly, the financial reality that she will most likely get shorter-term alimony than she wanted (unless she wants to take me to court), and that she will get a finite amount of money every month and when it's gone it's gone. Most of the responsibilities are going to move to her side of the ledger, and yes she'll get CS and alimony to cover them, but SHE will have to be responsible for living within her means. She's never been able to do that.
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If she is dating can't you at least use that to protect yourself from alimony? How can she even ask for that when she is potentially dating? Doesn't she feel guilty at all for what she has done? Doesn't adultery at the very least bar alimony in your state?
Florida is a "no-fault" state; you can't use adultery or ANY grounds as the basis for the divorce, other than that "the marriage is irretrievably broken." Child-support is also a non-negotiable formula (as it mainly should be). A judge MAY consider evidence of adultery in considering CUSTODY, but I'm not contesting the custody this time (I did when I filed for divorce two years ago, when she was having a full-blown affair).
I don't know if she feels guilty or not. I have nothing but circumstantial evidence about whether or not she's "dating," per se, and I really don't care anymore. Does she feel guilty? No, I don't believe she does, because in her mind our marriage is already over. I choose to draw my own moral line in a different place (when our divorce is final).
Wow, Puppy. It is funny how they understand MONEY, but not LOVE.
This is why you can't DB someone with a personality disorder. There is no "river" to throw rocks in to "build a bridge", it's more like throwing rocks into a black hole. You simply can't get there from here.
Knowing that didn't make me less sad, but it sure made my defense system kick in.
Puppy you sound steady , which is good. Loving detachment for me has been letting H live with the consequenses of his every choice and to keep on smiling. Well that is my goal.
And boy my H is so dumb , I smile quite a bit.
Question puppy - do you think that smileyperson was for real? If so, then my sympathy went to the wife!
How long will the D take in your state? Is the paperwork filed? Are you moving out or is she moving out? Do you have a house to sell? You'll have to figure that all out. What's the time frame you guys are looking at?
Well, of course she is out and will be dating! You guys are getting a divorce. I imagine she'll want to find someone else quickly. The good thing is when she does, it will make it easier for her to get through this, and that will help the divorce process overall.
It's great to see you in positive spirits. I'm hoping for the best for you and that this all goes smoothly.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
